Mend Your Soul Ministries

Hey Deanna,

I hope this month finds you with an inner peace that surpasses all understanding.  Phil 4:6

I know for myself there has been a particular key lesson in what it is to have inner peace amid my circumstances which, I am sure you can agree, can be crazy and stressful at times; maybe even more so in our challenging relationships and now during these shifting political, medical, economic, and social times.  That key lesson for me was gratitude.

Now, being November with the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday, I thought it would be a good idea to revisit the concept of gratitude. 

There was a time in my life I didn't have much to be grateful for; of course, there's always something to be grateful for (e.g., a roof over my head, my kids). Yet, during those years, it was difficult to think that focusing on a positive would make me feel better or change my life, and maybe in trying to appease myself in "finding the good" in things would put me in a state of delusion as to how horrible my life really was. 

Yet, when I chose to take on the practice, despite how I felt about it, I noticed that, yea, there's something to this gratitude thing.  I did feel better without losing scope as to the circumstances of my life.  If anything, it improved my state of mind to do the difficult things of changing the things in my life that I had the power to change.

I realized that practicing gratitude is not a blind optimistic approach in which the bad things in life are whitewashed or ignored. Gratitude balances us and gives us hope. It provides us with a sense of inner wellbeing, a sense of peace.

 **please keep in mind**  I am not in any way suggesting that if you are in an abusive, traumatic relationship/situation that you manage your circumstances in such a way that you "count your blessings" and stay in the abusive circumstances you find yourself.  This is what I was taught and had a mindset around (disassociation) which kept me in my abusive circumstances way too long.  Yet, once removed from abusive circumstances, the practice of gratitude, when the timing is right, can offer that sense of inner wellbeing and peace.

Here Are My Suggestions Regarding Practicing Gratitude.

• Keep a gratitude journal in which you list things for which you are thankful for. You can make daily, weekly or monthly lists. Greater frequency is better for creating a new habit.
  • Research indicates that changing your thought patterns around a particular habit is the first step toward breaking it- good or bad. Most people have heard the science behind "it takes 21 days to break a habit". And while that is true, many scientists are starting to believe it takes 63-66 days to break that habit. Or 3 cycles of 21 days, according to  Caroline Leaf.  Much of this is contributed to Neuroplasticity.
  • Also, keeping that journal where you can see it will remind you to think in a grateful way.

• Make a gratitude collage by drawing or pasting pictures.
  • The visual cues are helpful in getting the message to our heart

• Practice gratitude around the dinner table or make it part of your nighttime routine.
  • Sharing also can reinforce our remembrance of what is good and positive in our lives.
    • My husband has a great memory. He can remember beautiful and fun moments down to the detail.  I think a key in his ability to remember so well is that he actively, verbally shares the positive experiences he has had throughout his day.

• Make a game of finding the hidden blessing in a challenging situation.
  • I play what I call the "I get to" game. Instead of, oh, let's say, "I gotta deal with that annoying neighbor," I stop and tell myself, "Oh, "I get to" practice patients with that enthusiastic extroverted neighbor."

• When you feel like complaining, make a gratitude list instead. You may be amazed by how much better you feel.
  • This can be, flipping the script, not making stuff up, or renaming something that is bad or negative in your life but reframing to what is accurate.
    • For me, I have had both hips replaced. Instead of complaining that I cannot hike like I used to or ride a horse safely, I choose to express gratitude for the ability to walk without pain and that I am not stuck in a wheelchair. 

• Look up, with a concordance, all of the bible verses about gratitude and the promises linked with gratitude.
  • When read prayerfully with Him, God's Word, truths, advice, and promises are the most impactful way of healing one's heart and mind, one's soul.

• Notice how gratitude is impacting your life. Write about it, sing about it, express thanks for gratitude.
  • I love singing or just listening to worship songs.

As you practice, an inner shift begins to occur, and you may be delighted to discover how content and hopeful you are feeling. That sense of fulfillment is gratitude at work.

For those of you who have engaged in this practice and have made the "mind shift" towards gratitude, I would love to hear how it has impacted your sense of wellbeing.

What is going on

Mend Your Soul Ministries is facilitating another Mending the Soul Group starting November 8th. 

The participants will be taking a deep dive into understanding, feeling, and sharing how they've been impacted by the abuse that they've suffered as they learn and seek inner healing to be free from the effects of what they've experienced. Your prayers for the women who are attending this inner-healing group process are greatly appreciated.  

All of the processes, information, and coping skills are helpful for sure, yet it is the working of our Heavenly Father upon the heart and mind, our soul, that brings true restoration.  Inner hearing happens because of him.

Also, Mending Your Soul Ministries is reaching out to the communities of the Rio Grande Valley of Texas and offering the services of Her Journey. This support group seeks to bring healing and transformation from a faith perspective to those impacted by domestic violence and controlling relationships.  Your prayers for those suffering and impacted by domestic violence here in the Rio Grande Valley to receive the information and support they need to break free from DV are greatly appreciated.

New News

We are developing a "Challenge" to enable Mend Your Soul Ministries to become more known to those who need our services. 

We are just in the start-up phase of this.  Once the development of this program is completed, I'll be sharing this with you in hopes that you may share it with others to help reach those who are seeking to overcome the impact of the abusive situations that they have suffered.

A Resource

I love Dr. Caroline Leaf.  I think the reason is that she provides concrete information that yes, change is possible, and we can change how our thinking, our mind, has been affected by the use of our will to change our mind.  She explains neuroplasticity in a way that I can understand, mostly.  I guess for me; she shows concrete scientific evidence that we can heal from traumatic and/or abusive situations.  If you want to know more about our brain and how what we choose can change our brains' neuroplasticity, here is her book on the subject and a YouTube video that you might find interesting.

Learning More

If you would like to learn more about Mend Your Soul Ministries and the services we offer, please schedule a time with me for a Virtual Coffee Chat.  You can schedule that right here.

There is also our website, https://www.mendyoursoul.com/.  Keep in mind that I have some updating on some of the content, yet it'll give you a sense of what our desire is to serve others.

Sharing

If you know of someone who may be interested in taking advantage of what Mend Your Soul Ministries offers, feel free to refer them to:

My Website, https://www.mendyoursoul.com/

Facebook Page, https://www.facebook.com/DeannaRLang

Instagram, https://www.instagram.com/mend.your.soul/

Or feel free to email me at deanna@mendyoursoul.com to set up an introduction.

The Word

 Philippians 4:6

"The Lord is Near! Do not be anxious about anything. Instead, in every situation with prayer and petition with thanksgiving, tell your requests to God. And the peace that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

Psalm 107

"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.

May I Pray For You?

Loving God, please grant Deanna peace of mind and calm Deanna's, troubled heart. The soul can be like a turbulent sea. It can be difficult to find balance, so Deanna may stumble and worry. Give Deanna an inner peace that surpasses all understanding, along with the strength and clarity of mind to find purpose and walk the path you've laid out for Deanna.

Deanna trusts your Love God and knows that you will heal any fears, worries, and stresses. Just as the sun rises each day against the dark of night, please bring Deanna clarity with your Light that illuminates and heals the soul.
In your name, I pray, Amen.

Donate

Help support Mend Your Soul Ministries as we provide coaching services, facilitation of support groups, and teaching materials to those in need.

https://www.paypal.com/donate?hosted_button_id=V2TT3UCNJJCLU

With Gratitude, 

Deanna Lang, C.L.C.

*Pastoral Care Services for

Mend Your Soul Ministries

*Pastoral Care: Someone who demonstrates a compassionate nature even when the situation is toxic or stressful. Someone who listens attentively, believing that being truly heard is one of the most healing gifts a person can receive. Someone who fosters positive relationships by providing mentoring, mediating, council, and care. Someone who encourages emotional, mental, spiritual, and relational growth in others.